nyupanties:

im aiming for the “shes a badass and cute as hell but I wouldn’t touch her without asking” look

night-vale-community-radio:

I eat men like you for breakfast. I eat women like you for lunch. For dinner I usually have like a salad or something.

methlaboratories:

CAN I GET A HELL YEAH IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP

oboebandgeek99:

heckacute:

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

Why the fuck would I do that

the-dragons-thoughts:

Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for walks, it picks up every coin it sees cause its a hoarder. And your house is eventually full of coins. And you are rich. And have a dragon.

orange-knickers:

picopicoyama:

White Heterosexuals in Love

Coming to theatres next spring, a love story that is vaguely forbidden between two kind of sarcastic, innocent cisgender people who grew up in middle class american families.

Based on a book featuring White People Almost Kissing

emmettcarver:

"it’s cuddle weather!" i say to myself alone in my room

reallyreallyreallytrying:

well well well. if it isn’t my old friend, the dawning realization that i fucked up real bad